tiistai 25. elokuuta 2015

Good ways to copy from a model

One can learn  talents by copying from a model:
"As one is social, one should pay attention to the soicial influence that one gets about the other person's ways of moving and ways to do things and try to via them understand, like is natural for humans and animals, the mode (eyes, hearing, thinking, memory, body coordination, emotions, atmospheres, social things,...) and way (rhythm, structure,...) of doing. Via learning these balances of divisions of attention and effort one can learn the ways of doing of the other person and so her/his  talents and skills. By making a combination of these two ways to live, one's own and that of the other person, by using the unified understanding of both, one can combine the good sides of both and leave those bad sides away for which the other one has strengths to replace them with.  "

Often when one copies from a model, many copy too much, kind of trying to copy the personality or personal style, like in a sexual affair or when acting. But such causes just a vcounter reaction: one wants to distance the influence from the ways of the other one and so one loses her/his good sides too and is maybe left with a hate toward the superior. Instead one should just maybe once a week, if one is still in the learning phace, maybe for a half a minute pay attention to some video clip of that person or the like and try to see how her/his skills are build: what is the role of looking, the role of thought, memory, spontaneity, different types of feelings, etc and from them deduce what one needs to learn in order to learn that skill. And then just contemplate the skill, not copying the person anymore, maybe for some minutes tyring it out and practising. So one's direction of development is with just a few minutes a week toward learning the skills and talents instead of the hate and sabotage produced by copying more closely and with lots of time and acting.

sunnuntai 2. elokuuta 2015

Teenage and individuality

As far as I know, in Finland when one is 13, oe starts to be adult or more like starts to be a teen. One does some small sounding things then that are important for growing up. One may go to movies first time with a friend, make a plastic pearl wrist decoration (that is for girls, for boys maybe a short bicycle trip with a pal - maybe for girls too, and there of course much more content to life, much more room for likings) and pick a summer head wear from an cheap things box in a shop at a resort district. In them one makes choises based on what feels nice, what is good to live with for one individually. One has some options to choose from, the deicsion does not matter overly much but is good for building individuality and one does not use so very much time for deciding. So one has learned to make individual decisions based on likings aiming for what is good to live with for oneself.
In the age of 14 on tries adult's clothes and sees what it is like and how one would oneself repair the choices to gain more room to live in. If there were not the positive experiences of the age 13, it would just be a role forced upon onself, but now it is gaining experience in order to make individual choices that are good for oneself.
At 15 one is able to choose an adult imago based on what professions one admires and in which ways one is active character. And for the first time choose the adult's clothes for oneself to fit that dream future course in life and working life and hobbies.
It is like this for Finnish speaking Finns, as far as I know. But Swedish speaking Finns unwisely skip the age 13 and so they end up being not so much with individual freedom, which is a great pity in my opinion. Even if one fails sometimes when trying things on one's own for the first time, that is just because one needs experience in many things and needs to listent o one's own rythm to make choises that make sense in practice. So even if the beginning would be with some failures, the successes make it worth the effort anyway. Such skills are needed for life! One needs to be able to be an individual at the same time as working well as a part of the society.
At 16 one gains more experience in going one's own way. Maybe one should then aim for freedom in practise, even if overcoming some rules. At 17 I guess that one would need a study or work place in a profession of one's own choise.
It would be good to know that parents choose their neighbourhood because they considered it a good one, so many adults there may be with exactly the same likings about professions as your parents, so that going one's own roads demands more distant places and new aquiantages there.

Basics about reaching for finery

Finery like arts and women's things presupposes that you do the everyday basic level ok: with healthy mind and spirit and with common sense and moral, healthy kind of social relationships. Finery is typically at least 1000 times more complex than basic things and cannot be reached without the basic level of skill and diligence.
Finery presupposes a healthy kind of life. While some try to reach fine things by dropping everything else away, that leaves life without content and without healthy action, exercise, stimuli, capacity, variation, reactivity, checking against the hard reality, real meaningfulness, skills to increase.
Also when doing fine things you should carry your wehole life along instead of replacing it by some easy alternative like food and lazy life. Fine things are like an accent to your life's other things. They are not something to be cultivated separately.
Finery is for the most skilled. If you do not succeed with the basic level, do not try finery. You do not need to succeed perfectly with the basic level though, you just need to be able to carry it's meaningfulness along. That menas also it's kriterions of good quality, to which you can add those of the finery.